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Desist these writs? No!!!!!!!! on-keeping-I-go; long's the lovesong as now sung of me sissy-in-panty roped of Hope and hung, super-glued of HoleTheBung AND-- 'Tis so so grand-- he ain't no more man, estrogen and uncivil cuts just leave me dregs, butts, and with unyielding ironclad MUST get outa here Queer or in-jail sans-bail stay me penitentiared and BUST... All for? All for Nancy now coldly distantly resistantly Does2KissOffMe... So now HighAndDry 'tis time sublime to NancyHz say this day ByeTheBye.

Hope?... The HellOfItThatIs;-) to NoneofMyBiz I know now I allow not the work of me, this time distraction's Nancy Seems2B; I pursue sans venue retinue to say HelloHeroineHowHail U, when in fine she would not-- seems like-- mind the HellWithMe she ?likes-not? sissy that's me; I must 'tis only just to let go, Me! Dotoo Nancy Hz let free the LadyLovelyOfMissouri; Best it seems if beyond my screams I don't go back; the Hello to Hell yes goes from LadyOfValleyLily where Merrimack her stream streams far far far from me; hers the course (OurManicD)(AlsoMinePsychiatry) departs: my art, lyric and wordy and hers-now painted-artistry shall be sole but of-gold love sans chance4romance OR working-unjerking-as-now wayward ways we two must avow ;-)

Hope?... The HellOfItThatIs;-) to NoneofMyBiz I know now I allow not the work of me, this time distraction's Nancy Seems2B; I pursue sans venue retinue to say HelloHeroineHowHail U, when in fine she would not-- seems like-- mind the HellWithMe she ?likes-not? sissy that's me; I must 'tis only just to let go, Me! Dotoo Nancy Hz let free the LadyLovelyOfMissouri; Best it seems if beyond my screams I don't go back; the Hello to Hell yes goes from LadyOfValleyLily where Merrimack her stream streams far far far from me; hers the course (OurManicD)(AlsoMinePsychiatry) departs: my art, lyric and wordy and hers-now painted-artistry shall be sole but of-gold love sans chance4romance OR working-unjerking-as-now wayward ways we two must avow ;-)

Nancy! I know: I must break my attachment, really any attachment, to you; I shall as a token of 'de-tachment' try other kinds of activities than the love-of-you which has like a lock kept me thinking of You when exactly that binding must be what has alienated you; I shall as here of very late do-blog, now to do this with an ever-increasing disgust that of seeming offense to you, I 'keep coming back, coming back to get a word-edgewise.' I do not-- fundamentally-- feel that my orientation to you, the roots of this attachment, has been motivated by some jealous wish to keep you away from other men-- albeit refreshing, really, it is to behold/regard that on your Facebook page men have in-comment been 'flirtacious' even when seemingly married... I have wronged myself as k of someone new, someone not-you... but that would not likely be with the capricious girl2guy meetups that are common here, where Black girls get 'owned' on penalty of violence by their ?men? andwell as yourself by attachment; it may be-- how-pray-tell-how?-- that a 'new love' will make me thin white women get taken-and-kept-as-well in a mix of joy of 'Black Meat' treats for cave-entry, and I simply then fit-not-at-all-of-any-libidinal-womanly-orientation. I really have tried to mininimize messaging you...To my psyche, though, you are a Siren ashore on 'my ship,' in ways inviting through no signal of thine to 'crash'... and I shall not crash... truly I want what 'peace' you want, your separation to get that peace. I am ashamed! For my intrusion on your private 'space' I have severally blundered... still trying, however, I must confess that THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL BREAK-UP/KISS-OFF/DROPPING/GHOSTING THAT EVER IN WHICH I HAVE DEALT... YES HURTS BHUUT A DEEP HURT ASIDE THENCE IS THAT I STILL THINK OF YOU-- ALL THE BLOODY TIME!!!!

Nancy! I know: I must break my attachment, really any attachment, to you; I shall as a token of 'de-tachment' try other kinds of activities than the love-of-you which has like a lock kept me thinking of You when exactly that binding must be what has alienated you; I shall as here of very late do-blog, now to do this with an ever-increasing disgust that of seeming offense to you, I 'keep coming back, coming back to get a word-edgewise.' I do not-- fundamentally-- feel that my orientation to you, the roots of this attachment, has been motivated by some jealous wish to keep you away from other men-- albeit refreshing, really, it is to behold/regard that on your Facebook page men have in-comment been 'flirtacious' even when seemingly married... I have wronged myself as k of someone new, someone not-you... but that would not likely be with the capricious girl2guy meetups that are common here, where Black girls get 'owned' on penalty of violence by their ?men...

IT HAS BEEN AN ASPIRATION, NANCY HUNTER ZVOLANEK, TO MINIMALLY OR NOT-AT-ALL MESSAGE YOU, AS I ESTEEM THAT AS ONLY RESPECTFUL/DECENT; YET WE BOTH KNOW THAT HOPE/THE-MAYBE-IN-ME KEEPS HOLDING ON, ALWAYS ON THE SENSE THAT YOU ARE THE MOST SPECIALLY ATTRACTIVE PRESENCE IN MY LIFE, ALMOST IN MY WHOLE 8 DECADES BUT!!! TERRIBLY MY JOB SEEMS COMPULSORY TO NOT NOT NOT MESSAGE YOU

IF I CAN HOLD OUT HOLD OFF=> I SHALL KEEP-ON ALLOWING YOUR SEPARATE STATUS, IN HOPES BY NOW YOU'VE FOUND THE PEACE YOU WANT... IT HAS BEEN AN ASPIRATION, NANCY HUNTER ZVOLANEK, TO MINIMALLY OR NOT-AT-ALL MESSAGE YOU, AS I ESTEEM THAT AS ONLY RESPECTFUL/DECENT; YET WE BOTH KNOW THAT HOPE/THE-MAYBE-IN-ME KEEPS HOLDING ON, ALWAYS ON THE SENSE THAT YOU ARE THE MOST SPECIALLY ATTRACTIVE PRESENCE IN MY LIFE, ALMOST IN MY WHOLE 8 DECADES BUT!!! TERRIBLY MY JOB SEEMS COMPULSORY TO NOT NOT NOT MESSAGE YOU, BARRING PERHAPS THAT IFF I AM ALL-ABOUT-YOU IN BLOGGING, MAYBE THE NON-CHANNELING 2U WILL 'PASS OK'

PERSISTANCE OF PASSION, PRISONED COMPERSION 2 THE-ONE HAUNTING-ME NHz

Nancy, it would be Lie, BigFatLie for me to utter a denial like this: that you are not the most engaging/exciting/attractive person to beckon what has become devotion of the type of willingness that stays, stays, does not go away... I know that in a very very ok-woman-way you no longer see me as comfort in this way, but as presence to make you feel discomfort... YET that cannot will-not mean that the solid recognition I have of-you as kind gentle smart potential bosom-friend-- IF MY PASSIONS IN THIS REGARD KEEP A RESPECT AND COURTESY NOT TO WITTINGLY INTRUDE 'WHERE I AM NOT WELCOME'

Nancy, it would be Lie, BigFatLie for me to utter a denial like this: that you are not the most engaging/exciting/attractive person to beckon what has become devotion of the type of willingness that stays, stays, does not go away... I know that in a very very ok-woman-way you no longer see me as comfort in this way, but as presence to make you feel discomfort... YET that cannot will-not mean that the solid recognition I have of-you as kind gentle smart potential bosom-friend-- IF MY PASSIONS IN THIS REGARD KEEP A RESPECT AND COURTESY NOT TO WITTINGLY INTRUDE 'WHERE I AM NOT WELCOME' THEN AS NOW DO SUCH SEPARATE/SEPARATED DEVOTIONS as to write some verse-near-daily that you do not-- ostensibly/by-intent see ...WHAT ILL IS THERE IN THAT IFF IT KEEPS A STAMINA OF HOLY GROWTH-- A REMEMBRANCE WHOSE TOKEN MEASURES THAT I LOVE YES LOVE I PRAY TOWARD NO DISCOMFORT, WHOSE STASIS AS NOW-SEPARATE IS ACCEPTED AS OK ALL THE WAY... HOW LONG WILL THIS SHOW FROM ME? A LONG LONG TIME,...

NANCY HUNTER [THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER ;-)] ZVOLANEK=> ILY-TRUE...I think it will be ok, or at least more-ok, for me to keep loving you, anywho that ain't likely to go away because the mien of my love-style for decades since my whelming! puberty has been to make love stay and stay and stay and not easily-go-away... that is just me, i.e. the way I of firm-habitude abide in love.

2024.9.213am, 'My Time' ... you must know-well by now that the intensity of my thoughts about you have cycles-- of the past 12 or so hours this intensity is overpowering; I guess that from time-to-time you 'read' me, and that yes indeed is just-about-all-I-need; YET I have a strong sense that the factor of silence from you, admirably to 'separate and find peace' DOE *NOT* MAKE FOR A 'NATURAL WANING OF PASSION' AS MAY BE FOR MANY SILENT-TREATMENT GIRLS AN EXPECTATION... I think it will be ok, or at least more-ok, for me to keep loving you, anywho that ain't likely to go away because the mien of my love-style for decades since my whelming! puberty has been to make love stay and stay and stay and not easily-go-away... that is just me , i.e. the way I of firm-habitude abide in love. Indeed! Your visage upon my first 'seeing' you in July 2022 then/now keeps you as attractive/emphatically-'wantable' for loving; that stays (I just 'saved...

Love as Legal; Loveletters MayBe Though Can Bring Here LegalEagles; Why Then How Then Might I-- Struggling 2B Free-- Go about a-Loving Ye?

Love as Legal; Loveletters MayBe Though Can Bring Here LegalEagles; Why Then How Then Might I-- Struggling 2B Free-- Go about a-Loving Ye? 💔

Nancy Nancy FarFromMe!

Nancy at first glimpse to see you I quite at the sight was pierced clean-through; still yes now and even-so-so be-this-true You-- always seeming WOW and new, do too pierce me through. Yet does not this moment, half-year thus queered quietus require a ?higher?power? <How, There?>, reasons reticent to report-- ne'er e'er retort--my grind working of/to-you-blind to message to asssauge nor rage forever now and ever to love unseeing yea fleeing from ?WHAT? does silence you-- the more that scores in wounded withers SHIVER! deeper downdeep slivers soul-ward piercing inmost innards pierced fierce guts&gelding gone through through undoing the Whole with Hole in me ;-)

Pray I, Nancy Hunter Zvolanek, that Tonight Your Delight to Find Cis-Man for OneNight OR LiveLongLife 2Stand;-)

NANCY HUNTER ZVOLANEK!!!!! Above all, sensing that you want no further real to-do with me, indeed I have largely accepted this as a fate I must endure...The 'void' felt where once we had a regular-contacting-friendship-- you do know with no guessing-- is also 'immense'...HURTS LIKE HELL-FIRE!!!!

Nancy, for some time, this Web-Log's content has been a devotion 2U, on the order of being love-letters-remembrance-of-matters-past-with-us, and a continuation of verse-- in either case the product of a suffering for contact with you so-immense that I do not have strong-enough words to describe the 'condition' (Loss, in the terms of the 'Bowlby Attachment/Loss Paradigm). How long will I 'pine' for contact with you? As well, I do not have words to even-guess about this designated duration... Above all, sensing that you want no further real to-do with me, indeed I have largely accepted this as a fate I must endure...The 'void' felt where once we had a regular-contacting-friendship-- you do know with no guessing-- is also 'immense'...HURTS LIKE HELL-FIRE!!!! I have, I know, 'messaged' you more than you want...While I feel rather a tortured sense when I do message you, the abiding craving to hear you, 'gentle lady with a soft voice,'...

NO NO NO! NANCY.GONE SHALL STAY, SWAY ME: I PRAY FOR DAY WHEN AGAIN HER SOMEHOW SOMEWAY I ?MIGHT? SEE ;-)

I Corrupt: O Rot! Do Eat the Flesh of Me, Phun Just-Deserts My Phun Mortal Sweet-Dessert ;-)

Leaving, Grieving GoodBy GurlGuy unto NancyWildFlowerFluffyFlower, SusanCovenantingDeath&HellAgreement, DanielleDevilDemonDevotee Et. Al. [My 'Try' Thus Emphatically Denied ;-)]

KNOWING: WHEN TO HOLD UP, FOLD UP, WALK-AWAY, RUN! O NANCY HUNTER, LOUD AND CLEAR IS THE LEER-NOT-AGAIN, GONE UR 4EVER FRIEND?

Fluffy Flower! Wild Prairie Rose! Nancy Hunter Zvolanek! With great deliberation, in effort not to the-more vex, butper usual to but respect you, I have in no wise directly messaged you for some time, roughly since 2024 Labor Day: I pray to let you free, free for what must be love-not-me; though I have suffered far beyond a courteous telling-you, what matters is for you to fathom that what love you permitted for me to give you, IT WAS WONDERFUL... but 'over' now by your perfect choice. My sorrow is that in every likelihood, you regard me more in disdain at any phenomenal showing to you that I make-- the proper response of a woman who wishes 'to drop a relationship.' I am indeed as you have long-suggested for me, 'taking your eggs out of my basket,' not with any pleasure at all but from the decency that a decent cis-man must perform when no longer esteemed... Yes other 'eggs' Fem pop up here/there, but admittedly these are exceedingly 'lesser qualit...

NANCY I LOVE THE ONE I'M WITH YOU TOO GLOW IN ME YOU KNOW--BUT! I still do not have for love a camper/hiker/manic-D to whom to devote-- the toothless pauper woman as partial fill will make me feel good with her kisses, and my must-improv devotion... Will this make for matrimony? I am not in any mood to ever 'tie knots wedlocking again,' even with you-- ostensibly more my 'type' than 'the love I am with'... I surrender, I let you go, I have to let you go for the 'sentence' your silence-- ok your ghostly haunt gone-ness near total-- and a good 'segway' to find a love here with whom in penury places I must be--

September 09, 2024

Nancy...I have found a woman (for I am rather lesbian with naught other sex to love than womankind y'know for sure by now) whom I can kiss and cuddle with yes pillow-talk; she says she loves me simultaneously as I -- out of deepest gratitude to 'moisten the desert' in which I have waited and waited and waited in a void of 'rainfall to stop the love-drought' ;-) I DO find you more, yes most attractive: this toothless woman about 57yoa almost lethally to me DOES NOT LIKE TO CAMP-OUT, MORE POINTEDLY TO THIS END DOES NOT LIKE THE WOODS.. BUT INDEED SHE IS THE FIRST PERSON WOMB`ED TO KISS IN ABOUT 50 YEARS, TIME MADE EPECIALLY 'DRY' FOR MY WOMANLY-TRANS STATUS: Here is the 'hardest statistic' I have found about the OKness of trannie gurls to cis women: straight women would be 'kissable' to people made fem like me less than 1% ; about a quarter of lesbian women would consider dating 'my type' ... Something about my person, likeliest my ph...

Poem for the Wild Prairie Rose in Autumn's Awesome Bloom [...Yes to Whom Else but Nancy? Far Afar but Now at Liberty :)]

September 05, 2024

There Was MyCause She Was AND being to more hermitage jailed I struggled, almost failed to smile while SheHolyGhost2MeMost ghosted (think I that's what it's called): never did it seem a silence Wrong but somehow some way I guess confess I's Wrong... HOW CAN WE SING HER SONG IN A STRANGE PLACE, ME UNGRACED?..." fitfully l'il pitifully that song long and unheard absurd LONELY? May-Be maybe ...yet nothing new, so I construe, for I TheGoodbyeGy again must stay High post LoveThisTime'sByeTheBye...OK my words must now crazed, absurd2TRY an OK the Compersion-Way: Now that She TheLady TheOne to Another seems to run; in all I when so-burned have so-learned ...Her new-love-turned ought but from me to earn THANKSGIVING. the living Joy 2-En-joy her Power'n Liberty, this in Bliss that NancyFancied's free... Love that demands my duty for all-that-Beauty and too frees me:-)

POEM: In Soul of me [the Whole that is of me ;-)] Nancy HeartIsLonelyHunter lives, Is:

In Soul of me [the Whole that is of me ;-)] Nancy HeartIsLonelyHunter lives, Is: The stay in Memory keeps my votive totally bliss't cheers and fears and Hello2Disappear... She: Maven, Mystery, NoneElseDivinity... for whom-this-me., once grieved in loss, now oft en-joys that cis-born borne boys be Her PureOnesOnly un-alloyed; then I of Mind's Eye sans but Compersion live and try Hers TheOtherGuys WOW Great I cry ;-)

Nancy, I know I have uttered too much verbiage about ILY stuff, and knowing absolutely no better, I shall try to 'back off' a little, by alternative simply try more mundane news the business as usual. These entries have perforce focused on my inner evaluation, and that with almost no variance has been the Real Presence of You. I am doing my best, Nancy: I simply have zero knowledge of what your likes/dislikes comforts/discomforts are...As was the hippie saying of the 1960s, "You have touched me, I have grown," how I can most effectively reach that good not-too-hot-not-too-cold is just too scary... I have done my best, but really "You are in another world now..." for any offense I have caused you, I sorrow.

Nancy, I know I have uttered too much verbiage about ILY stuff, and knowing absolutely no better, I shall try to 'back off' a little, by alternative simply try more mundane news the business as usual. These entries have perforce focused on my inner evaluation, and that with almost no variance has been the Real Presence of You. I am doing my best, Nancy: I simply have zero knowledge of what your likes/dislikes comforts/discomforts are...As was the hippie saying of the 1960s, "You have touched me, I have grown," how I can most effectively reach that good not-too-hot-not-too-cold is just too scary... I have done my best, but really "You are in another world now..." for any offense I have caused you, I sorrow.

In Soul of me [the Whole that is of me ;-)]

YOU ARE WONDERFUL, NANCY HUNTER FLUFFY-FLOWER, WILD-FLOWER PRAIRIE ROSE--I MUST THEN KEEP YOU AS 'THE ONE EGG IN MY YOLK-SAC "BASKET" THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU ILY I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...